Jealousy, how to fight it and how to stop it

Estimated read time 4 min read

The different types of jealousy: normal, projective, delusional. The woman is always weaker than the man, also by law. Abandonment must be accepted, without rancor and anguish.



Is being jealous good or bad? When do we start to be? This and many questions assail us when we are in love and we are afraid of losing our loved one. We become vulnerable and a possible disappointment can even become devastating. The feeling of jealousy, as adults, has deep origins. In many cases, it makes us relive that of the loss of love felt by children towards the mother, our “safe base”.


Our being jealous is normal and natural, if we are aware of it. We must be aware of our vulnerability to the idea of ​​being able to lose the person we love. When a loss occurs, jealousy leaves room for pain, which is lessened by time. In many cases, letting go means having to face a “mourning”, respecting the other’s freedom to leave and start a new love story. To combat jealousy, we need to possess certain characteristics or work on ourselves to acquire them:

  •  Accept abandonment, without anguish and resentment
  • Being mature enough, not just by age
  • Have an inner balance, to avoid the ups and downs of mood
  • Trust in yourself and your future. To turn the page and find a new love



Jealousy has ancient origins. The word “jealous” comes from the Greek term Zelos, which means desire. A passion that, throughout the drains, has fueled the imagination of poets and singers. It is no coincidence that the drama of jealousy is at the center of hundreds of tragedies such as Shakespeare’s Othello, dating back to the 17th century. There are at least three forms of jealousy:

Normal. It is what we feel when we are afraid or we are convinced of losing our partner at any moment. A direct consequence of this feeling is the feelings of guilt and hostility towards the new flame of our ex.

Projective. When we project on our partner the betrayal desires that we are not able to satisfy. We are convinced that he will betray us, despite the evidence of the absolute loyalty of his partner, because we want to betray ourselves, without succeeding.

Delusional. It is the ugliest and we try it when we are convinced, in a paranoid way, of the partner’s infidelity. In these cases, delirium is based on unfounded reasons and in the most extreme cases it can cause you to lose control of your aggressive impulses, with dramatic consequences.


We often hear, on TV or radio, the drama of jealousy. Murders, sad stories where sentiment takes over reason. It becomes a pathological fact where the jealous person tends to close, to the loved one, any possibility of a relationship with others putting at risk the freedom of choice of the partner and in some cases also his safety. Stalking, threats, and acts of violence are only some of the consequences of a love that can become violent due to the vulnerability of the jealous person. If we have considered our ex as the reason for our existence, we will be very insecure or we will always be convinced that we can exercise control over his life. This also explains the many victims of jealousy. Men and women of different cultures and ages. For socio-cultural reasons, women are considered as “personal property” and there are traces of this phenomenon also in Italian legislation. It is no coincidence that the part of the Rocco Code relating to extenuating rights to “honor” remained in force until the 1970s.

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